Making Mountains Out of Molehills, and Climbing Them

Airplanes. A place where melancholic thoughts and long repressed dreams resurface. It's just loud enough to make talking a chore and thinking inevitable. The internet is unavailable, unless you're an oligarch who can afford the outrageous price of wifi. And let's be real, the ruble ain't makin' anyone richer. So we are forced into solitude- to be vulnerable with ourselves. Guess what guys, I'm checking in with me. And it's looking pretty dang good from 13,000 feet or whatever height airplanes fly at these days. 

Brance and I are traveling to DC to visit my parents and my temporary new home. Not the "I just got married and pretend to be an adult" home in Washington, but my parent's home. It's their first residence that I have no attachment to. After 35 years in the military, the majority of which were spent at West Point, my father has retired. Currently, they are house-sitting for one of my dad's luxurious classmates in Northern Virginia. Apparently, if you get out of the army after 5-10 years instead of making it a career, you become a bazillionaire- I have many reputable sources. One bought me a VitaMix for my wedding- BEST. GIFT. EVER. Anyways, my parent are free-balling while my father figures out his next step. Essentially, he and I are in a similar chapter in our lives. However, his resume is a little stronger than mine. I'm not intimidates. We both find ourselves asking: what am I going to do!?!

Evidently, you don't just have to answer this question once in your life. It can sneak up on you at any time and the options only seem to thin slightly with age.

Dear fellow twenty-somethings and thoughtful acquaintances, 

I do not know what I want to be when I grow up. Please stop asking.

Sincerely, 

Kate

But I can tell you a few things I do Not want to be- President, mortician, anything in the transportation business. I didn't get my license until I was 19. I hate driving. Less now than when I started. At least now I've reached a minimal comfort level with it and I don't have to worry about becoming a soccer mom who has anxiety attacks every time she has carpool duty. Baby steps. Thank you I-5 for forcing me to risk my life everyday and still live. I pray every time I hit that on ramp.

However, just because I haven't nailed down the specifics, doesn't mean I don't have some promising ideas about what I may want to pursue. Disclaimer: there is no theme. Among the top competitors recently: nonprofit work. acting, and culinary school. Which one scares me the most? Working for a nonprofit. Interesting isn't it. But like my fear of driving, I've built up this fear of working in an office setting. It's something I've never done and, here I am, 2.5 years out of undergrad and my lack of experience in a cubicle has manifested a gut wrenching paranoia. Why? The demon keeps telling me I'm not professional enough. Also, I greatly dislike networking. I don't enjoy creating relationships for the sole purpose of getting ahead. Rockefeller would have trampled me during the Gilded age. I'm all about authenticity. How can you be genuine while politely asking, so you can get me a job, right? Despite my exaggerated fears, I've decided to jump in with both feet (jumping with one just sounds painful). That's right- I'm applying to office jobs. Take that evil voices. I'll show you! 

And guess what, I've recently made some progress at a place I am super excited to potentially work for. Nothing is concrete yet and I'm not good at sharing things until they come into fruition. But prayers would be greatly appreciated. This is my mountain, and it may look more like a downhill coast to most people- especially my peers from GW. They didn't even wait until the first day of class to lock down their internships- talk about ambition. But I'm doing things in my own time and I will climb this mountain without apology or resignation. I'll let you know how the view is from the top. If it isn't for me, I happen to be an excellent cook and something in me still thinks there's an Oscar with my name on it.