Confession: I’ve spent too much time scrolling through my photos on Facebook. I'm interested in what my visual journal says about me. Some people use their “de-tagging” powers to sway the perception of others to their own benefit. They screen every photo they’re tagged in and only keep the best versions of themselves. I am the opposite of that person.
I leave the good the bad and the ugly up, because I want to be authentic. But the truth is, the internet cannot represent me authentically and a candid picture of me with three chins and a stain on my t-shirt is not who I am. Unfortunately, it is not usually the unattractive photos that haunt me. It’s the picture that represents a time when I was lost. My arms might look skinny and my waist trim, but secretly I remember drowning in that moment. I convince myself that anyone can perceive the shame I felt during this time. In reality, no one can likely detect the emotional truth behind the image.
For years, I’ve kept these images up, threatening to pull me back to a place when I lost touch with myself and my faith. The only person these photos are hurting is me. I feel guilty about taking them down, because it makes me feel like I'm hiding something. However, leaving them up only brings shame that paralyzes growth. I am not defined by my past, but keeping these pictures ties me to it. How can I feel grace if I’m continually reminded of my mistakes? I realize it is time to let them go. I have nothing to hide. This lost sheep has been found. God met me where I was and carried me to the other side. More than that, He promised, “I have even greater things planned for you.” These are the truths that need to be remembered. Not the photos representing painful memories already healed by Christ.
No comments:
Post a Comment